DESCRIPTION OF MYSELF

I'M STUPID,
AN IDIOT,
A DUMB-ASS,
A FOOL,

WHO'S HEART WAS BROKEN BY 2 PEOPLE I TRUST THE MOST IN THE WORLD,
BUT STILL NEED TO APOLOGIZE?
AND ADVICED BY PEOPLE TO ASK ME OPEN-MINDED A BIT?

MY LIFE HAD BEEN SUCK..
AND I EXPECT #1, WHICH IS ON MY TOP LIST OF ALL OF MY BESTIE,
AND MY ONE AND ONLY GS TO PAINT MY LIFE..
WELL, THEY DID,
BUT WHEN THEY PAINTED THE WRONG COLOUR,
AND TRIED TO RUB IT OFF AND USE A NEW COLOUR TO CLOSE THE UGLY PATCH OF THE COLOUR,
IT DOUBLED UP ALL THE HAPPINESS BEFORE INTO SADNESS..

SORRY KOO KARYAN?
NO FREAKING WAY I'M GOING TO SAY THAT.

YOU SHOULD KNOW ME BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE,
AND YOU KNOW I'LL FIND OUT THE TRUTH IN NO TIME,
BECAUSE OF MY SHARP INSTINCT.
BUT STILL..

I'M FUCKING TIRED WITH MY LIFE,
I WISH I CAN TAKE A LONG HOLIDAY..

GREAT!

Whats so great?
At first, it's #1 who tried to hide the truth, and Klein who lied to me,
NOW!!
I was cheated by one more people!
THANKS A LOT TO 3 OF YOU!!

YOU ALL SUCCESSFULLY BETRAYED MY TRUST AND BREAK MY HEART INTO BILLION AND BILLION OF PIECES!
GREAT JOB!
WELL DONE!
*CLAPS!*

FOR 3 OF YOU WHO ARE READING THIS,
DON'T COME NEAR ME AT SCHOOL,
DON'T TALK TO ME,
DON'T EVEN THOUGHT OF COME TO ME AND APOLOGIZE..

S-T-A-Y A-W-A-Y F-R-O-M M-E

The Best MOMENTS and The Worst MOMENT

*I'LL WRITE EVERYTHING IN CAPITAL LETTER TODAY, BECAUSE I WANNA SHOUT IT ALL OUT!!!

I HAD BEEN HOLDING BACK MY TEARS SINCE THIS AFTERNOON,
I CAN'T LET MY SISTER, ANDREA, TO SEE ME TEARED UP.
THE BEST FOR TODAY WAS MY SIS AND I WENT TO SHOPPING,
SHE SHOPPED A LOT,
BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY,
ALL THE THINGS THAT SHE BUY IS NOT MORE THAN RM500!

I KNOW WE'RE THE SHOPAHOLIC SISTER, AND BLABLABLA,
BUT IT'S A MIRACLE THAT WE ONLY SHOPPED FOR NOT MORE THAN RM500..
*WANNA LOL, BUT I CAN'T

AND THE ANOTHER BEST THING WAS I MET HIM AT SUNWAY UNIVERSITY COLLEGE YESTERDAY, IT WAS SO UNBELIEVABLE AND UNXPECTED! I PRETENDED THAT I DID NOT SAW HIM, BUT HE YELLED "PHOOI SAN!" AND WAVE TO ME..
OF COURSE, I SMILED TO HIM AND MOUTHED "HI"..
I COULD TELL THAT HE WAS PRETTY HAPPY TO SEE ME THERE,
AND I WAS EXTREMELY HAPPY TO SEE HIM THERE TOO!
*I REALLY WANNA EXPRESS HOW HAPPY AM I, BUT IT'S JUST TOO SAD FOR ME NOW TO EXPRESS HOW HAPPY AM I

WHAT'S THE WORST?
I WAS CHEATED BY HER FOR QUITE SOME TIME,
ABOUT THE PERSON SHE ADMIRE..
AND I BELIEVE HER ALL THIS WHILE BECAUSE I LOVE HER,
AND TRUST IS VERY IMPORTANT,
AND WHAT'S THE RESULT IN THE END?
SHE LIED TO ME EVEN I TRUSTED HER..

I DON'T FUCKING MIND WHO YOU ADMIRE..
I JUST FUCKING MIND THAT YOU LIED.
I ALWAYS SAY "SORRY NO CURE", WHICH WAS ALWAYS A JOKE,
BUT THIS TIME,
I'M SERIOUSLY SAYING THIS,
SORRY IS USELESS!

THIS TIME,
IT FEELS LIKE WHEN LZR TOLD ME THAT HE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE,
AND ASKED ME WHAT PRESENT SHOULD HE BUY FOR THAT GIRL'S BIRTHDAY..
JUST IMAGINE,
THE GUY/GIRL THAT YOU LOVE TOLD YOU THAT HE/SHE LIKE YOUR BEST FRIEND..
ALTHOUGH THIS IS A DIFFERENT SITUATION,
BUT IT FEELS THE SAME,
IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU ADMIRE MY BEST FRIEND,
BUT YOU LIED TO ME.

THERE'S NO NEED TO LIE TO ME,
BUT THIS TIME,
IT'S ALREADY OVERBOARD..
AND #1,
YOU SHOULD HAD TELL ME!
I KNOW YOU'LL THOUGHT TELLING ME IS A BAD IDEA,
BUT FINDING OUT MYSELF IS EVEN A SUCKER IDEA!!

I WON'T FORGIVE BOTH OF YOU,
ANYTIME UNTIL I FEEL OKAY..
I MEAN IT.

AND CONGRATS TO BOTH OF YOU!
YOU GUYS MADE ME CRY!

It's Just Making Me Bleeding Inside

What's making me bleeding inside?
It's the torture..

What's the torture?
It's:
1) Missing him hell lot but CAN'T tell him
2) Need to message and chat with him but I need to control it so that he won't be suspicious that I still like him
3)Want to look at him, but he'll definitely look back, so I can't do so..
4)Want to go out and hang out with him but I can't because he's too awkward when he's with me..
5)Hope he'll find me and chat but I know it WON'T happen
6) Hope he care about me, but I also know it WON'T happen
7) Hope to see him smiling everyday but I can't..
8)Need to hide my true feelings from him..
9)I need to pretend that I'm happy when he like some other girl, but actually I'm hurting inside
10)Need to help him get a present for a girl
11)Looking at his present that he get me for birthday-Obviously he don't understand me, because I don't like PINK, but he bought me a Pink accessory box
12)The past that's haunting me..
13)I just feel like telling him my true feeling!!

WHATEVER IT IS, I NEED TO KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT..
S-H-U-T!

I NEVER LIKE IT!!

I WANT TO GOT TO TUITION!
DAMN IT!

#2,
I'm really really sorry!
I didn't mean to inform you last minute,
It was my FUCKING USELESS IDIOT uncle who couldn't make it,
And informed me 15 minutes before tuition..
Really sorry!

And I really miss him and I really want to see him so badly!
I want to SEE HIM!
I couldn't believe I teared up.

He couldn't fetch me to tuition and SHE's making thousands and billions of excuses to help him!
But when I couldn't do a simple thing for her,
Abd I have a SOLID prove of why I can't do it,
She'll just FUCK UP AND SCREW my day..

WAKE UP YOU NANNY!!
YOU'RE OLD! BUT NOT BLIND OR SENSELESS!
I'M YOUR BLOOD-RELATED GRANDDAUGHTER AND HE IS NOT BLOOD-RELATED TO YOU AT ALL!!

I DON'T LIKE PEOPLE BREAKING PROMISE AND I, MYSELF HATE BREAKING PROMISE!

I feel so heartbroken now..
Feel so betrayed!
It might be a small thing to all of you,
But this MATTERS A LOT to me!
Why is everyone side-ing him when he's OBVIOUSLY WRONG,
And why is everyone blaming me when I'm OBVIOUSLY RIGHT?

Whatever he say is not all the time right,
And all of you guys, who are like fools,
Listen and BELIEVE whatever he crap!
He don't have a single tiny little prove to prove his status..
HE DON'T HAVE!
THINK LOGICALLY, IDIOTS!

And he thought he didn't know what he did?
He's dating 2 girls at the same time!
YOU WOMANIZER!!!
And you watch PORN,
And you though I don't know?!
You even collect nude pictures and you thought I don't know?!

YOU, WHO CLAIM YOURSELF AS SOME SORT OF HIGH PRIEST,
AND YET YOU HAVE NO PROVE,
YOU'RE TOO FAT TO BE ONE,
YOU'RE TOO PERVERT TO BE ONE!

DAMN! I'M STILL CRYING AND I CAN'T STOP MYSELF GETTING F*CKING MAD!

Problem?

Well,
He said he have social problem,
And I wonder whether is it me that he's talking about..

'cause I told him that I miss him..
If it's really me,
I apologize..
Sorry for making your life messed up..

The reason I know you well is because I love you..
And to love a person, you need to know that person well..
I know you won;t get angry easily,
But I also know you don't like your life being messed up by some people..

I can't simply make a guess that it's me who messed up your life,
But I'm 90 percent sure it's me..
You said that you need to off 15 minutes ago,
But now you're still online-ing..

I wonder whether are you mad whenI told you about the Indonisian guy..
I hope you're..
'cause it shows that you care..
And I hope you care..

I'm so not feeling okay now..
I just had a bad day and bad night..
I need people to listen to my problem also..
But I can't tell anyone..

I'm sorry Huei,
I can't spoil your happy mood..

I'm sorry #1,
It's just too hard for me..

I'm sorry #2,
I shouldn't trouble you so much..

I'm sorry Klein,
I know you'll be mad for not telling you,
But this is just something I couldn't do..

I need some time to be alone and clear up my head,
But I never have the time/chance to be alone..

And my headache had become worse..
I wish I'll be fine soon.

I'm Pretty Smart!

LOL..

I made him say he love me lots too!!
Haha!!
HAPPY!