The worst pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling.

And you know no matter how you smile or laugh, the tears just won't stop falling.

The reason I chose the pen as a gift is because I want you all to remember me.

“I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.”

I just hope, I brought nice and pleasant memories to you all..

At this short period of time,

I've made many beautiful memories.

All of it were full of laughter.

Every human is greedy.

My greed for more laughter and memories is growing stronger each day.

Memories.

Laughter.

Friendship.

SHOPPING

I bought this while doing some online-shopping

And this also..

Both pieces cost me about RM100

The yellow one, is almost RM100 while the pinkish one is almost RM50

I proudly present you the products I bought, except for the skipping rope. Hahaha!

The four white packs from the most left are masks. I actually bought 5 and gave one to Daisy. The small pink pack is for eyes, while the green one is a normal mask.

The four standing one.. From left, it is Sweet Pleasure, Secret Blossom, and the last two are for removing blackheads. Sweet Pleasure and Secret Blossom are perfumes. :)

Below it is the compact powder, concealer, lip treatment balm, mascara, eyeliner, and eyeliner brush.

Then the last two silvery-pink and silvery-brown are the hand cream I bought..

All of the products costs almost RM300.

These are the pens I bought for my friends and teachers. Not going to mention the exact amount but all of it costs about rm250.

Isn't it nice?!!!

26/03/12

At 0000, KIDDO became someone else in my life :)

25/03/12

Went for hiking early in the morning and glad to hear that my stamina has improved! :D

In the afternoon, Daisy and I went to Hokkaido to meet up with friends.

They're Lik Chen, Winnie, Hong Zai, and Choong Zai.

They gave me a nickname. They called me "Scholar of K1"

LOLZ!! Only if I was that smart!

It was fun seeing them again, except for the part where Lik Chen and Winnie broke up.

Really feeling so sad for them..

They were such a sweet loving couple!

It happened that Lik Chen cheated on Winnie.

He went back to his ex(2) girlfriend who just returned from Taiwan.

Cut the crap, they just broke up and it's a sad thing. :"(

But on the other side,

Eddie engaged with soon-to-be-his-wife!

Super happy for him!

I wish him all the best and lead a blissful life!

Went home to get some rest,
And went out again to meet up with Pook.

We went to yumcha at somewhere near his house and we talked about future.

Our future path and career.

His advises are always the best.

The way he think, and the way he plan and also the way he speak,

Totally inspires me.

He is, indeed the friend with most wisdom.

Then we went to Karyan's house for a while.

But pity Pook because he was panic.

He was kinda worried about Karyan's granny 'mind' when she returned from the indian wedding.

You know, 2 girls, 1 guy in a house without adults.

Hahaha!

Had fun again!

After chit chatting with Karyan's granny after she came back,

Pook and I also left to go back home.

Pook was driving.

However, I'm more relaxed when I'm sitting in LWS's car.

Maybe Pook is used to drive manual but my car is auto??

Just as we passed the bump, LWS's car passed by.

Haha!! We left and he came home.

The best part was,

LWS sent the wrong message to me.

LMAO!!!

Sent Pook home and he was kinda surprised when I gave him the present.

He was keeping his hands behind his back,

Then I said "I got this for all my close friends, take it"

And thank god, he took it..

I really hope to see him succeed in life and be who he wants to be.

He had gone through so much,

I really hope, for once, God can create a miracle for him and his family.

Make him a successful person in a way that everyone is happy about his achievement.

Although the road in the future is going to be harder,

I know he'll overcome it.

I just hope,

He stays healthy and eat more healthy food.

So happy and surprised when KIDDO said she bought me something.

Thanks a lot~!

24/03/12

Today went to pray my mother.

Well, just keep it short and I'll only write the important ones.

Mum is happy with my results BUT she kinda disapprove about my path to piloting..

She agreed with my idea of going for Performing Arts!

Had lunch,

Sent my bro home,

Went to get one more present for Pook,

Went home

Dead tired,

Slept for 3 hours until Karyan messaged me.

Woke up and rushed like hell to her house just to meet LWS to show him how much weight I have lost.

Played and had fun like crazy.

Definitely,

A NIGHT TO REMEMBER <3

A DAY TO REMEMBER 23/03/12

This day is Friday.

At almost 3pm sharp, I went to fetch Karyan.

We went to AUG where Karyan wanted to settle her stuff about her application to UCSI.

Next, we headed to Jusco, planned to watch a movie but the time is all..... :(

We went to WokSifu to have our teatime, I was so so hungry!

Yet, I couldn't finish the food.. Hahaha!

We went to shop and I shopped A LOT.

I bought :-

• Eyeliner
• Mascara
• 2 hand cream
• Eyeliner ( for someone else)
• SKIPPING ROPE
• Lip balm (treatment)
• 2 Masks
• Eyeliner brush
• Collagen eye patch

There was few funny moments when we were shopping.

The first one was the promoter at Sasa putted some hand cream on my hand and to me, it smells bad because it was strawberry flavour.

It's not that I hate strawberry, I just dislike the scent.

The other moment was when I was buying hand cream at The Body Shop.

Karyan asked how does the Almond Hand & Nail Cream smells like and I answered "Smells like almond laa."

Three if us, including the promoter laughed.

We were so full but I bought a small cup of Baskin Robbins.

Then we walked around, and we really walked A ROUND and we came back to the Baskin Robbins stall.

Laughing, we went to food court to take a rest while waiting for the time to pass.

We talked about many things today.

Too much!

There was a moment where both of us was shocked to see a girl whose face was TOTALLY COVERED WITH EXCESSIVE MAKE UP!

I thought I over did my make up today, but I was proved wrong. XD

Then, we're off to tuition center to meet the most most most most most beloved teachers.

It was nice seeing Mr. Lee again.

Then Mr. Rajendran came!

He is the indian teacher who taught us History in his super unique and funny way, but the magical thing IS, the points will be INJECTED into our brain after he said it once. HE.IS.THE.BEST.HISTORY.TEACHER!

Then we talked to Mr.Lee who just came out to 'lepak' with us after his class.

We chit-chatted for a while, and as usual, the topics are about how we're going to further our studies.

We actually waited for quite some time to see Mr.Lionel because some students blocked his way downstairs!

The moment he reached the doorstep, Mr. Lee said "Here he is. Mr. TDH."

I was blur! "What TDH?" I asked.

Then Mr.Lee answered "Tall, Dark & Handsome!"

Everyone in the room burst out laughing!

But it IS very true!

Mr. Lionel is indeed tall and thin, dark in a charming way, and he's quite a handsome guy.

*I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM!*

Mr. Lionel was wearing a red long sleeve shirt today but he rolled it up halfway.

He do have a good sense of fashion..

As usual, he's a very friendly and warm-hearted teacher.

Mr. Raj came out from his class and joined us, JOIN THE FUN!

It was quite a coincidence because I scored A for the subject English, History and Malay.

Malay was taught by Mr.Lee, English was taught by Mr.Lionel while History was taught by Mr.Raj.

PEOPLE, PUSAT TUISYEN ANDAJAYA IS REALLY A PLACE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!

We had a good laugh when the three teachers was talking about going out to yumcha at Friday nights.

Mr. Lionel politely rejected the offer saying that he has something else to develop on Friday nights.

Then Mr.Raj said "Which body part you want to develop on Friday nights?"

LOL!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Lionel only said "This guy here definitely has a perverted mind."

Lionel was surprised when I said I wanna take pilot courses.

He was very surprised.

I thought I told him before? Hmm...

He said I would be his first student who became a pilot (if I success)

Right at that moment, I feels so encouraged.

Yes, encouraged.

Now, my desire to be a pilot is stronger.

I wish I can make them proud someday.

Not because of my results, but my achievement in life.

Just before Karyan and I left, I gave Mr.Lionel and Mr.Lee the pen I bought for them

It is SHEAFFER with their names carved on it. Feeling sorry to Mr. Raj because I didn't get one for him.

I thought of buying Parker but it was just too expensive. :(

Sorry teachers.

AND I LOVE YOU TEACHERS!

The odd thing about their classes is, I ALWAYS feel happy to go to their tuition class.

That's the magical thing about it.

I have to say,

MR. LEE IS THE BEST TEACHER WHO TEACHES MALAY,

MR. LIONEL IS THE BEST TEACHER WHO TEACHES ENGLISH,

AND MR. RAJ IS THE BEST TEACHER WHO TEACHES HISTORY.

I might forget those fine, happy moments in the class,

But I'll never their kindness and passion in teaching.

NEVER.

I wishes my teachers all the best in life and hope they'll become even more successful than they are now.

*Mr. Lionel really is my favourite teacher! :D *

After we left,

I went o Karyan's house to have dinner since granny didn't cook today.

It has been such a long long time since I ate at her house.

I'm more welcomed by her grandma now. hahaha!!

The dishes was good as usual <3

I left the presents in Karyan's room and LWS's room.

Hope he'll be surprised.

I'm so so glad Karyan likes the pen I bought for her!

I knew that pen is meant for her at the moment I saw the colour.

The colour just said "Karyan" when I saw it!

And her name on it just make it looks so beautiful <3

Now, I'm waiting for this Mr.Leong to get home and get SURPRISED!

SPM

21/03/12

A day that I can't forget. Woke up super early because of the anxiety. Fetched Karyan and we went to temple together. I was going to pray my mother. It was my first time going there with friend, not with family.

When I reached, I was feeling so nervous. Everything went thru my mind. Then I realised, how much I actually miss my mother. All the memories I have about her are all nice ones. So I really hate it when people tell me stuffs that I don't know about my mother because it spoiled the image that I have in my mind.

When I was standing before her, I clasped my hands together and prayed. All I said was "Please bless me with a nice results. Please give me strength to overcome this and face it with courage like your's" I kept on repeating those words and tears eventually made it's way down. For 5 years, I was just talking to air. To a space which I don't even know if it exists. I miss her. I miss the sound of her laughter, I miss her scent, I miss her presence, I just miss her.

After praying, I felt different. As if someone showered me with love. I felt. Protected.

Then I went to buy breakfast and fetched CKM. We were off to school.

Many people were in the hall and my heart WASN'T beating fast. It was weird, I felt nothing. When I walk towards my class teacher's table to take my results, I was so nervous. She gave it to me after she scanned through it. I looked at it and honestly, I AM DISAPPOINTED.

Friends keep on asking how I did, what I get. I was disappointed. But I put on a happy face and said I did quite okay and I'm quite satisfied. At the moment when I send out messages to my sister, brother and everyone about my result, I have another strange feeling. It feels like someone is telling me "You did well.. Very good." And then I remembered. When I was small, no matter what results I got, my mother will always tell me the same thing. She'll say "You did well! It's okay. Not bad.. Keep up the hard work."

Could it be my mother? Is she really happy with my results? I really hope she was here today. I really wanna show it to her how I did, I wanna hear her say those words again. Sometimes, I wonder, why my sister is nothing like my mother? Why is she pushing me so hard? Why? Why she wants me to be like her? Why is she so demanding? Until today, I still haven't got the answer.

My uncle said I did very well. Is it? But I feel so disappointed. I could've done better. That's what people always say when they regret. My brother, as usual, is happy with my performance. My grandma was a bit ignorant but in the morning, just before I left home, she said to me "You've already did your best. Whatever the result is, let it be. Don't be nervous. Face it with courage."

Waileng and Ernni wished me all the best just before I went to take my result. Ernni was looking worried so I put on a happy face and said I'm satisfied with my results. She was actually the one who's so worried about me. I was nervous and she's there to tell me everything is alright, it's going to turn out perfectly fine. The night before, she message me. The content was like this ---> Heh so you slept? I hope so. Yeah don't worry kay. Everything will be perfectly fine. See you!

And thanks to her, I fell asleep before she send me the text and I had a goodnight sleep. The power of my little guardian, maybe? ^^

Reunion with friends was fun.

Spend almost 4 hours in KBOX screaming, singing, dancing like mad.

I mean my friends, not me. XD

It was fun..

I'm going to miss it because I don't know when we will get together like this again.

And if we did have a reunion like this, we won't know who'll be the busy one and miss out the reunion.

Friends, keep in touch okay! <3

Special People in My Life.

*NOTE TO ALL, THE SEQUENCE IS NOT IMPORTANT*

So, I'm back after a long hiatus, or was it a short one? I don't remember.. LOL

Today was the day where I took my SPM results.

*Shall skip this since I'll post this later~*

I'm here to talk about people who're so nice and they ARE STILL part of my life.

One of them is the person who tweeted and messaged me(FB).

*pictures as shown above*

I'm not saying that she's a nice person just because she complimented me.

I'm saying she's nice because she never gets sick with my ranting and complains,

So am I! I'm always there when she needs someone.

When I was lost, she was the one who guided me back to the right path with her words that seems so simple but so meaningful to me.

She was the one who's SILLY but she made me smile when I was down.

There're people in my life who made me cried,

But there're also people like her who made me smile just to stop the tears.

Our friendship started in a way that both of us had no idea how it begun.

As what she said "Ahh I totally forgotten. But how come we started talking to each other? Hm, twitter is magical right (1/2) Yes, super duper magical. Or else, we won't be there for each other and I won't know that I have such an amazing senior lol (2/2) "

Thanks a lot to Twitter, because without Twitter, I would have not found this great friend who's forever a silly KIDDO in my heart.

Next is CKM&KY, or KY&CKM.

I don't know how to say this but both of them is important to me.

Not going to blog much to me because they're like part of me.

Their support and words.

I'll always remember.

There was once where I helped CKM a lot.

I never thought the word "hope" can make her stand strong again.

When I fell that day,

She was the one who taught me back the thing I taught her.

I told her that I was in so much pain, suffering day & night, fighting over it every single second and nothing seemed to work.

She said " Hope... That's what you told me"

Yes. That's what I told her.

Hope.

A simple word made up by 4 alphabets, but its a powerful word.

Hope is what keep us moving on and continue striving for the best in life.

That word will remind me of her, DEFINITELY.

Then it's Karyan.

She's more like a special case.

HAHAHA!!

Why?

She is definitely the person who's supporting me quietly with her 'strategic advice'

LOL

I was really REALLY surprised when she said she know which temple I'm going.

I was thinking so hard how she knew!

And it appeared that she was actually "STALKING" me..

JOKING!

She was actually checking me from time to time.

A quiet but caring friend.

I really never expected this because all this while,

I JUST BLOG FOR FUN.

She even came with me to pray my mother this morning..

Whenever I go to the temple alone,

I'll be reminded about today.

Thanks gal :)

Twitter, FB, P&J, and the word "GUARDIAN" remind me of the mysterious person.

The word "hope" reminds me of CKM

And whenever I visit the temple alone, it'll reminds me of KY.

Oops,

I forgot about my broS la..

They're Pook and Anthony.

Pook is a super fun guy.

Not forgetting about his handsome-ness.

And he's very wise.

His wisdom is a part of his charm.

But when he got into his advising,

You'll feel like you just received a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG lecture,

But it's all worth it. Super nice friend.

He loves pets! Especially dogs!

Whenever I saw dogs, I'll think of him.

Anthony came into my life so suddenly.

And he made his way straight into my life,

As if he took a short-cut.

He's not good at advising, nor making me laugh/smile like the girls did.

But he's the one who make my life feels better.

As if he brighten it up using his magic.

How should I say it.

Hmm, it's like using a neon to paint.

He is caring.

VERY VERY caring.

But sometimes,

I'm very worried about him because he LOVES TO FOOL AROUND.

But most of the time,

He's the one who's worried about me because I'm..

Well, a person who couldn't shut away her troubles?

He won't be telling me how to solve this and that,

Instead, he'll tell me something nice to brighten me up so I can come up with a solution by myself.

Nothing will reminds me of him, except for the word "sis" or "aiyo" and his favourite sentence "eat already? remember to eat!"

Next is my private tutor,

Mr. Leong.

I've gotta say, he's the best teacher I've ever got.

At the first place,

I never thought he'll agree on teaching me maths.

He's a very devoted person.

When he starts something,

He won't stop until he's satisfied.

He will give his all to achieve something.

He is another person who loves to play and fool around.

And not forgetting,

HE LOVES TO TEASE.

But at the end of the day,

He's just a nice warm guy.

Really thankful that I got a friend like him.

And he came to my rescue when I was stuck in a place.

Well, I should keep that embarrassing story to myself.

He came out even thought it was almost 12am.

Where will I find such a nice friend like him?

I will never forget his kindness.

Of course, not forgetting my super cute and annoying and loves to get pampered sister, OJA.

She's annoying sometimes,

But when she tries to annoy me, I find it cute. LOL!!

And when she wants something,

She'll nag and nag and show her 'aegyo' just to make me buy it for her.

Those was few years back.

Now, she's only good at BULLYING me.

What a bad sister! XD

Joking~

She's nice.

Sometimes, blunt.

Sometimes, annoying.

Sometimes, silly and cute.

Sometimes, you just wanna smack her and mess up her hair.

That's her.

Though many things happened between us,

And we were quite quiet these months,

I'm glad we're still in this relationship.

I hope it remains.

I hope I'm a good sister to you.

And I hope, you'll seek for my help when you need it.

And I'll love you because you're my sister <3

I hated it.

There's many things that I hate but I couldn't help to love it back.

I hate it when she talks about money.

I know how important is money in a world that thirst for it.

But can't she forget, even just a moment about it?

I hate it when you talk about my mother..

I'm sad to admit that I'm losing memories of my mother.

She had been living in my memories since I was 12.

I don't know what kind of person she is because I didn't get the chance to know her.

She left without saying a word.

She was in pain when she left.

To me,

My mother is the world's best person.

She was always there for me,

She was the only one who really loves me,

She was the only one who don't give me pressure about my future,

She was the only one who let me dream to be who I want to be,

She was the only one who hugged me when I'm sad.

And she was the only one who can see through my fake happy-laughter.

Please,

Stop telling me things I don't want to hear,

Stop spoiling the image I have in my mind.

I can't afford to lose anymore more memory about her..

SPM result is coming out on the 21st and I'm nervous.

Super nervous.

I always thought I did fine.

But suddenly,

I felt like I won't make it..

What will I do after I take my results?

NO IDEA.

I'm really down these days and since I'm finally back,

I think I'll pay my mother a visit before I take my results.

It's been a long long time since I last talked to her.

I hope she'll bless me with good results.