I DID IT?

It's still too early for me to say that I did it.
Because I'm not sure yet.
I said it last night.
I can't believe I said it..
I mean seriously,
No one will believe I said it.

The reason?
Well,
I'm not sure...
Maybe because I think I'm not someone important for you,
Although you're so important to me..
So why would I care?
I'll be more like busy body when I care for you,
Or maybe not.

What had been said, can't be change..
It's already the past,
No one can turn the time and go back to correct their mistake....
Does that mean breaking with you is a mistake?
Honestly,
I don't know.
Ever since I was lied by 3 people, including you,
I feel so betrayed..
Yes,
I should forgive and forget..
I did forgive,
But I can't forget..
It's too much for me..
Even until now,
The feeling of being lied and betrayed is still here..

I had change..
I learn to control my temper..
Now,
I'm someone who don't show my anger easily,
I'll manage to hold it back somehow..
But the changed me is not the kind me anymore..
I used to keep quiet and pretend happy when I was so damn hurt inside..
Eventually, people will really thought I'm fine when they saw me laughing and talking with my friends..
I was hoping someone can see through my act and comfort me..
I had been waiting,
But it seems like such person didn't exist..
The changed me,
Is very, very cruel..
I don't feel sympathy for other people anymore,
Because no one care and sympathy me when I'm down..
So why would I care for you people out there?
You think I'm cruel?
Go ahead,
You'll know why I changed so much once you experienced the feeling of being betrayed.


I'm not feeling well,
It's mentally, not physically..
I don't want to show my friend my troubled looking face.

As for you,
I don't knw how to say this,
But just give me more time to think...
The reason?
Well,
I guess you know..
But hundred percent,
It's not because you love her..
I never care who you love,
Because that's your business,
Not mine..

Bye Bloggie..
I need to calm down,
And think so that I can make a wise decision.