MY FIRST HIT

What does it mean?
It means today is the first time in my life,
I HIT ANOTHER CAR.
It was a Waja, and unlucky me,
The fella is a cop some more.
=.=

Details about how it happened?
Nah, my friend who was with me said the Waja fella is at fault,
But the Waja fella said it's my fault.
No point debate over such matter.
It happened, I was the one who hit him,
My fault.
End of story.

I was really guilty because,
First of all,
It's not my car,
Secondly,
I'm fetching my friend,
And I had give a lot of trouble to my brother.
And also my uncle.
I was glad that they didn't blame me for it.
They said "It's your first time, don't worry.. It's very usual.."
Uncle Arther said "The car is not that important. The most important thing is you're not hurt"
My friend said "Don't worry about me. I'm worry about you."

I was really glad that they still give me support,
I AM really thankful to them, and to God for sending them to help me.
Sometimes,
A small action,
A simple word,
Can touch the deepest of my heart.

Honestly,
I was afraid.
I was so scared.
Not scared of the consequences for hitting that fella's car,
But scared for troubling the people around me.
I was so scared that they might leave me.
I admit it,
I really felt it at that moment.
I prayed.
I prayed to God to help me, help my brother, help everyone.
I don't know whether He heard it or not,
But I did feel better,
At least,
I had stop crying in the car.

I am the biggest failure of the family,
At such a young age,
I already hit a car,
A cop's car (not the white Waja, just a normal silver Waja)
At some point,
I really felt so down,
I'm so disappointed with myself.
How can I not able to brake faster?
How can I not avoid that?

I know something is going wrong today.
I have that weird feeling.
When the paper finished,
I thought it was all my imagination,
But I was proved wrong.
When I thought it was over,
It begins.

I don't know what had I learned from this lesson.
I really don't.
Drive carefully?
I'm always careful.
Sometimes, the victim can be the cause of the accident,
The victim(cop) is definitely the cause of this accident.
If only he didn't e-brake,
I wouldn't have hit him hard.
So hard.
His whole bumper was... Dented.
Right at the middle,
The moment my car finally stop,
My hands were already shaking.
But I was somehow calm inside,
Because I'm not alone,
I can't freak out when my friend is beside me,
I am the driver,
I must be stronger,
At least I do look so,
Until I called my uncle and told him.

I managed to hold on,
Until I reached home.
Now,
I'm still trembling in fear,
My heart still beats fast,
My eyes feel so tired from all those 'pouring out' session.
I wish..
I wish everything will be well.