April Fool?

I had fun fooling people yesterday.
All of the prank were about him and me.
There's this about my menses was late, I'm moving to Japan with him in 2 more months, he wants me to leave and stay with him, we broke up, and we got engaged.
Everyone fell for my prank. Fanny was the most kesian. But it was fun.
I mean, me and him, got engaged. Means we're tied together by the string of fate and by law.

Then, today is 2nd of April.
I was in SPPK' new NC, at upstairs.
I was busy helping Daniel to design the whiteboard with out monthly schedules.
And my phone rang.
That ringtone only belongs to his no.
I was so excited and I stopped whatever I'm doing and ran to my phone.
Daniel said "So excited? Eddie ah?"
I was grinning but I said "No."
And thankfully, I said no. Because if I had said yes,
I would tear up immediately after I read the message.
It was a beautiful morning but it turns sour when I read that hurtful message.

我们分手吧.
The world stopped spinning.
My heart stopped beating.
Everything seems to be stopped at the moment.
I ignored the message and continued whatever I was doing.
I was so lost.
Daniel asked "What's wrong with you? Didn't I tell you to write ___ and ____?"
I was like "Yeah, I just forgot for a bit."
I was trying so hard to stop it.
Stop my feelings from controlling me.
Stop showing my soft side to others.
I appeared to be a tough lady, a strong one.
A lady that doesn't know the meaning of failure or fall.
But then, this time.
I fell hard.
I fell because I saw him there. I know he'll catch me.
But I didn't know that he's letting me go after managed to catch me.
And the fall is even worse.

I didn't said that I don't want.
Instead I asked, "It can't be saved?"
It hurts so much.
I feel like dying at that moment.
It's my birthday month.
It my big day in another 14 days.
And I was wishing to spend it with you in my life.
Maybe we can't spend time together at that time.
But then, we're still tied with each other.
That bond could be the best present for me.
And I don't wish for this bond to be broken.

You don't need to have any qualification to say you love me.
Because you're already qualified as my boyfriend.
So you're more than qualified and anyone to say that.
And even if you don't say, it's okay.
Because as long as I can feel it with my heart, you've already said I Love You.
And Eddie Chong, I Love You.
I really love you.
Remember the promise we made?

I asked you how long we can be together and you answered forever. You even asked me why I ask such silly question.
My answer was because I'm afraid one day you'll stop holding my hands, hugging, kissing or talking to me.
I said I'm scared if  you don't want me anymore.
And you said "I won't leave you. I'm scared that if you're the one who leave me!"
And then I replied "I won't leave you. Because I love you more than you love me."
And then you replied again saying "How you know? I love you more than you love me."
Do you still remember this promise?

I love you.
You think this is hard for you?
Think about me.
I'm not feeling any better than you.
It's the 46th days since we last met.
We didn't meet each other for about 2months.
And I'm suffering here and I still need to fake my happiness to continue working.
I'm faking everything.
Because that's how much I believe things will work out for us eventually.
We just need to be patient, and believe in each other.
I believe in you, I love you.
So please, please please please fight this obstacle with me.
Please.
I need you.
I really can't live without you.
Don't leave me.
Don't do this to me.
I've gone too far.
I can't go back.
Please, stay and fight.