Happiness and Doubts

Our very first getaway. We went to Penang. This is our first holiday together at a different state. The very first thing I like about this is being able to pack both of our clothes in one bag. I just feel this as an act of love.
Its not just couple anymore. It's not just dating. Its trust and comfortability. We're comfortable and we trust each other enough to put our things together. For you all out there, this may seems like something small and ordinary. But for me, its another step to be closer with the one you love and you wish to spend your entire life with.

The only regret was he's paying for almost everything. And because of that, he has to save on this and that so he couldn't 100% enjoy this trip. I know he was trying to fulfill his responsibility as a boyfriend but at the same time, its sad to see him like this. How I wish I didn't spent so much at the beginning of the month then I would have been able to add more happiness to this trip.

He was holding my hand all the time. I don't know if he ever get bored. But I wish he knows how warm and protected I felt inside. He's learning, always learning how to take care of me under whatever circumstances. I'm really thankful for that.

I also felt guilty because he had to take a day off due to the stubborn me who wanna go back on Monday morning instead of Sunday evening. So he just tell his boss he's taking a day off and decided to give me one more day. Thank you so much for the love, dear ♥

To repay everything he did for me, today I cooked for him. It's very simple and his grandma kinda took part in my cook-for-my-boyfriend plan. She helped to cook also! And we had a god time chit - chatting. I hope dear love the dishes I make today. *dont wanna tell you guys the menu cuz I'm feeling embarrassed*

So this morning we went to the market after we woke up. Buying veges and planning how to cook for him makes me feel blissful too. Its like we're preparing ourselves to be husband&wife. Yes, I just said that. Husband and wife.

The other day when we were at Penang Interactive Museum, there was a 3D wall painting. It's written there will you marry me and I do. I wanna take a picture with him but in the end we did not. Because at some point, I'm afraid that I might feed myself with too much happiness and hope and if all these vanish, I'm afraid that I can't get back on my feet.

I love him, yes. So much! But I'm scared if I can't last forever. I wanna marry you and only you. I can't imagine myself marrying another man but can I wait until the moment we get married? Are we the one for each other? Please bear with me. Please don't give up on us. Even if I want to, don't let me. And when the same thing happens to you, I will do the same.

I love you, Eddie Chong. Only you♥