What Ash said is true,
Friends are meant to be betrayed..
But for my case,
Friends are meant to be treasured and loved.

Is this my life?
Is this my fate?
Or is it me?
I think it's my life, my fate and it's me..
Every year,
I'll lose a precious friend,
To get him/her back,
I need to go through the maze that'll reach your heart.

The maze,
Is someplace that I'm not familiar with..
To make myself understand more about it,
I always put myself in your position...
But in the end..
I still don't understand it?
Your maze had never been a easy one..
It's not because you're mysterious like me..
It's because you're very optimistic.
Optimistic people can always smile and go thru everything,
But behind that smile..
Is the sadness and the hurt feeling that you tried to cover.

I always see it,
But this time,
I missed it..
How can I miss seeing that?
It's because I had too much to do.. Too much to think at one time.
WHat to do? What to think?
Sketch is done,
C.D wil start tomorrow, steps are prepared, but agreement and objection needed to make that dance beautiful..
My final exam is coming?
Yeah, many chapters and subjects to go thru all over again,
My financial problem..
So what if I have cash but the cash can't be used?
My relationship problem..
In few more weeks, it'll be gone.. I need to think CLEARLY.. But my decision had been made anyway.
My problem with my granny and uncle..
Their acting is better than Tom Cruise and Angelina Jolie?
My problem that I miss my sister like hell but I can't go to kl as I promised her.
Because of enrolment stuff, I need to cancel my trip..
My problem with my sleep, having insomnia lately.
Can't sleep at all.. Lie on the bed at 1a.m, but went to sleep at 4a.m..
My problem with health..
Met the doctor two days in a row, injection two times. WTF?
More to come, but it'll be invading my privacy to say it out, or type it out..

I know such day will come..
Problems with my attitude?
Yeah, I have a bad temper..
How bad?
I can get mad i just 3 seconds if one WRONG word slip out from your mouth..
3 seconds is slow?
Nah,
It's the fastest..
I learned to control my anger ever since last time I argued with you..
I cried in the bus when I went home that day.
Just silent tearing..
I know I shouldn't be so mad that time,
But I just lose control,
And don't forget that there's another person is in me..
Although I'm still gaining control,
But who knows she might be the one who control someday?
Because of that,
I sort of learn to control my anger..
Anger management..
I did pretty well..
But the reason I hate about anger management is,
I will keep all inside, and burst out at the moment I can't take it anymore..
And the victim could be anyone that I'm texting or chatting with..
And trust me,
There's always the same person who's so unlucky..
I don't know why it's always you,
it's fate??
I don;t know..

My life had been hard..
People envy me for my freedom..
I can go out anytime, and go home anytime..
But what do I envy about you guys?
Family love..
You guys still have 'THAT' word to call..
Mummy, Daddy..
Me?
I don't have..
I'm a pure hundred percent orphan..
I only go to #1's house to overnight is because her home give me a warm feel..
Last year,
I went to her house so many times..
Why?
Because the house that I'm staying with is making me go insane..
I'm always all by myself..
Even if I fall sick,
I will drag myself to see doctor by myself and paid using my pocket money..
I always quarrel with my bro and sis,
Because they said that I keep secrets from them,
But they never realise that it's them who don't bother about me..
They only realised it when the harassment happened..
So what if I have freedom and don't have parents?
I had rather have no freedom,
Than not having Dad or Mum..
How old am I?
I'm 16..
But I lost both my parents when I'm 12..
What I know when I was 12?
Nothing..
Now that I had grow up,
I think a lot..
And thinking is what make me realise something..
Always express your love towards the one you love,
Because you never know when they'll leave you without a word..
And now you want to leave also??
Go ahead then..
I'll live in my dilemma,
In my world of loneliness..

I;m not saying all these to make you come back to my life..
But it you who make me realise that there's still nice thing out there..
There's still love, friendsip, and trust??
I don't think the word trust exist in me anymore..
Because I once trusted you, and now, I lost had lose it..
I might not believe anyone anymore,
But still,
I feel safe telling you my stuff..
Take all the time you need..
One week?
One month?
One year?
Take it all...
But just remember,
Only you have the qualification.
Now that we're like this..
I have no one to talk to..
Zunren is at Austrlia,
My gs? I;m totally irritated with her now.
#2, she have her own problem...
#3, aiming for her new love??
Am I lonely?
I;m not..
Why?
Because I still have you, bloggie..
You'll always listen to me,
And pass my message..
I gotta go now bloggie..
bye!