As I did more roadshows with my fellow colleagues, I've learned how to be calm while explaining the 8 index. I even know what it'll caused if certain index is high or low and what's the factor. Practice makes perfect. This morning, I explained to the uncle by my own. And I did it! I'm so so so thankful.
My aim is to be supervisor by next month!
GO! GO! GO! I CAN DO IT!

You who appeared in my dream disturbed my thought a lot.
Should I go on? Or should I stop?
I don't know.

It's been a long time since I last blogged. "/
Anyway, I'm finally here to update a little.. :)
So, I started working now as a Independent Distributor.
I'm working around many awesome people and I can't wait to learn from them! <3

Went to STS today at Syuen and one of the speaker is Mr. Lee Kim Oo who is a President Team people.
He looks like any ordinary business man but his jokes are the best!
And I'm so proud to be his 8th generation of his downline. LOL

Started giving out flyers today and one of the recipient sent me a message. I thought he was interested but he is not. He said he wanted to be my friend. But he's 39. I was like 'What the fuck?!'
How can a person like that interested in me?
He said we'll know each other more slowly.
And I tell him straight forwardly : Please don't contact me if what you wanna know has nothing to do with my job. Thank you.


Knew so many amazing people from Herbalife :)
WaiSum ( my coach and upline), Daniel, Kuan Yee, Jien Wei, Wai Hong, Sean, Linda, Sally, Tuck Yin, Viya, Mr. Teng, Jien Wei's gf, Mr.Ng, Soo, Kenji, Kennie and a lottttttttttttttt more. Hope to meet more people! <3


I LOVE HERBALIFE!!!!!!!!!!

USED

My name was 'borrowed' to tell Arther about the electric bill that's increasing every month because of the air conditioners. *We've 4 air-conds now*

What she was trying to say is, instead of having another one, why not use one of the old one and put it in that new room? But Arther was too busy to notice this hidden message and he eventually filed a complain to my sister.

Not only that, he even add more stories that he heard from Miss D( the one who borrowed my name)

And my sister called me and lectured me for an hour.

I was super dumb founded when she started telling me off about things that had nothing to do with me.

I kept quiet and listened.

I tried to hold back but I couldn't.

I just lash out my anger.

The reason they're looking for someone else instead of me to take care of Grandma is : I'll be leaving Ipoh to study.

But my sister said : Don't you feel ashamed when someone who has to resign from work to take care of Grandma when you're the one who supposed to take care of her?

This is the first problem. She misunderstood Arther's theory and she blamed it all on me.

Then she started talking about the overnight at hospital issue. As you all know, my birthday is 16th of April. I was really expecting a real fun party/celebration with friends this year. But then it turned out that I had overnight at hospital to take care of Grandma.

16th of April is my birthday.

16th of April is the day where my Grandma was admitted to hospital.

16th of April is also the day when the doctor told us about her condition that is not getting any better.

I know I shouldn't be celebrating my birthday, but even a simple dinner is not allowed? What am I? A prisoner?!

In the end, I had dinner with KY at KimGary.

And then the relatives started complaining about me gone missing.

Please, who was the one who said that he'll bring the dinner over?

Who was the one who said he's responsible for Grandma's meal?

Who was the one who failed to keep the promise?

And then everyone pointed their fingers at me when things went wrong?!

I only have one reason that I don't want to stay overnight in hospital.

The last time I slept, was the period when my mother was gravely ill.

I was only 12. But then, I was forced to sleep there. What can a little kid do at that age?

That kid was sleeping in fear. Afraid that something might happened to her mother while she's asleep.

2 weeks later, her mother passed away. And the last time she really took care of her mother was that night, the night where she slept in the hospital to accompany her mother. It has become a nightmare for her to go to hospital. Because each time she goes, she's afraid that that could be the last time. She's afraid to overnight in the hospital, because she doesn't want someone she loves died under her care.

But no one understand this little kid, who's now a young adult's fear.

The fear of losing someone.

And the next day, I fell sick.

Still, no one volunteered to stay overnight at the hospital.

I woke up at 0530 and left the hospital to wash up, and then went back to hospital.

But in the mean time when I'm gone,

Some people reported to Arther saying that I went missing and I ditched my responsibility to take care of the old lady who's so ill.

If they know how bad my headache was,

If they know how sick was I,

If they know I nearly got into a car accident because I was too tired,

If they know..

But no point telling them all these.

I wish, I really wish I could tell them but they won't understand.

Because in their eyes, I'm a teenager who was controlled by my emotions.

I'm a spoiled, selfish brat.

I'm a useless and hopeless person.

Since you called me useless and hopeless,

Why would you want me to take care of Grandma?

You're desperate.

You've no other people to help you except me.

Like I said before, don't thank me with your fake sincerity and your fake words.

Thank God because He made me stay no matter how much I was shivering from fear.

The thing that disgusts me the most is the moment after you complained to my sister, you sent me a text message saying how much you appreciate my help.

If I am a selfish person, I could have left and disappear.

I could have went to my friends' house,

I could have killed myself and free myself from all these hatred.

Yet, I can't.

Because every human is made to survive at any cost.

No matter how much I want to die, there's a part in me telling me to stay strong and walk through this sh*t.

I wasn't as tough as last time.

Because as I grew up,

I understand what pain is,

And the damage it causes.

I'm really thankful to my friends who're there for me when I was about to fall again.

Thank you, so much.

Without you guys, I would've embrace death.

Thanks a lot.

Whenever I was at the verge of breaking apart, I'll meet you guys, because within that short period of time, it'll strengthen me and I'll be fine again.

At least, I won't break down.

Although you guys did nothing much, but being there for me, is more than enough..

<3

Sometimes, I'm impressed with myself.

To be precise, I'm shocked.

How did I think of those words?

Since when I have such wisdom?

I just want you to know,

Being strong is not easy.

I became strong because I was forced to.

I had no choice.

I had no one to lean on. No one to trust.

Although I found those trustworthy people quite late,

But late is better than never, isn't it?

If I was given a choice, I would choose to be strong rather than depends on others.

Why?

Because I lean on them too much.

When they left me so suddenly, I didn't have the chance to prepare to get up,

So I fell hard.

No one bother to help me up.

Or maybe, I was the one who doesn't want to get up again.

I was in dilemma for quite some time.

I always think "Why didn't they cared for me? Why? Why they never try to understand me?"

I asked myself these question over and over again.

Until the day when someone came out of the blue to ask me "Are you in a situation where they're not capable of understanding it?"

Yes. I'm always considered the matured one. The independent one.

I'm 5 steps ahead of them. That explains why they couldn't understand me.

I always label myself as a mysterious person. Or a very secretive person.

Because even the person who's closest with me had a hard time to understand me.

Then, I told myself "If they really really care, they'll try to understand."

I always believe that things will be okay sooner or later.

But it turned out that, that day doesn't exist.

No matter how broken I am,

How unhappy I am, I always put on mask.

I'm either angry to make everyone shut up and refuse to talk to me,

Or smile and laugh happily to make everyone think I'm okay.

I always tell myself "There's no need to show your true feelings to people all the time. It's not like they'll understand it right away."

I smile when I was breaking apart.

I smile when I know the pain is killing me.

I smile when I was blamed for someone else's fault.

I smile when I was at the dead end.

I hold back those tears for so long. I told myself to never let it fall, because when I starts, I'll be a weakling.

I keep on telling this friend how frustrated I am.

Then one day, this friend told me "Hey, you should go listen to some songs. Songs that made you cry. After you cry, you'll feel better"

I refused to. Because I don't want to cry.

Then this friend said "Hey, I know you're tough. But, it's okay to cry. Do you know how much I wish I can hug you and comfort you right now? Stop being tough for a day."

And just for that day, I let go of my tough side.

I am so thankful to have this friend. No matter how bad is the situation, this friend will be there for me.

Sometimes, we need to know that being tough is not the only thing you need.

But you need to know how to act.

And you need to know, to whom you can show your true feelings.

I'm not in a good mood today. It's 4th of April today. Did something happened last time on this date? I don't know. I can't remember, and I wish I won't remember. Because I had enough of pain. I'm tired of being hurt and lied to over and over again. From now onward, I wish to make more happy memories than sad memories.

Let go of those who hurt you. Embrace those who truly care for you. And ignore those takes advantage of you.

It is not necessary to have many friends, but it is necessary to have friends who you can trust.

Quality is what you need. Not quantity.

"Winners never quit, Quitters never win"

"It's easy to stand within the crowd. It takes courage to stand alone"

"Sometimes we need to lose small battles in order to win the war"

"Always stand for the right thing.. Even if you're standing alone"

Quotes always makes me feel better.

I've did those. I've stood alone, lose small battles, I never quit and I've won the war.

Life is not as hard as it may seems.

It's our perception. The way we think.

If you hold up a glass for the whole day, your hand will be so tired, you might even loosen your hand's grip because the your hand is so tired and worn out.

But go back to the beginning, is there really a need to hold up a glass the whole day?

Put it down. Learn how to do that. Put it down.

And always smile.

I've tried smiling just to stop the tears from falling.

And when you succeed.

You've become a stronger person.

VAMPIRE PROSECUTOR

These are the pictures of Yeon Jeong Hun aka Han Ga In's husband. He's 34 this year. Kinda old eh? But you know what, he's so cool and handsome when he acted as the vampire prosecutor in the drama called Vampire Prosecutor.

He's so damn hot when his eyes turned blue and his fangs came out.

One of my favourite scene is when he was at the Blood Club after he was stabbed by a crime suspect.

When they club owner laid him down on the table and look at him, his eyes were blue, his fangs were out and his hungry and vain expression. Gosh, that's driving me crazy.

And his name in this drama is Min Tae Young

Too bad, he's taken. LOL! *as if I had a chance!*

And he's cuteeee.. He is not the sporty kind of person. He's more to the shy type.. when he smiles, my world felt like a hurricane just swept thru it!

Currently watching his new drama called Can Love Become Money. He's a rich CEO in this drama and his name in the drama is Midas.

The worst pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling.

And you know no matter how you smile or laugh, the tears just won't stop falling.

The reason I chose the pen as a gift is because I want you all to remember me.

“I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken, and the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.”

I just hope, I brought nice and pleasant memories to you all..

At this short period of time,

I've made many beautiful memories.

All of it were full of laughter.

Every human is greedy.

My greed for more laughter and memories is growing stronger each day.

Memories.

Laughter.

Friendship.